Oh hayyyy, WCC fam! Wanted to give an update for all y’all that have been following along the past year and half with the behind-the-scenes stuff with me. I’ve been kinda quiet the past 6 months and I owe you some updates.

I know a bunch of new folks clicked the link thinking whatttt is up so TLDR for y’all new folks:  I was diagnosed with rectal cancer at 33 with no risk factors/genetic markers after being blown off by my primary care doctor who assumed I was too young for it to be cancer. That whole experience was partly why I started sharing this stuff so publicly…learning the hard way to advocate for my own health and also to try and address some of the stigmas and refusal to talk about colorectal cancer in young adults.  It’s often diagnosed late stage because we slip through the cracks and are often dismissed exactly like I was. So I started sharing my story and dang if I didn’t realize just how many people have similar stories….so I kept sharing.  And through all of this terrrrrrible stuff, the sheer volume of folks that rose up IN FORCE to support me in countless ways absolutely STUNNED me. These folks kept me going through the darkest, scariest days of my life. When I found out the cancer spread to my liver. When I was told my 5-year survival odds were 15%. When I travelled to three other states to get second opinions on treatment options. When I went through chemo. Radiation. Four surgeries. So, while it probably seems weird for me to share this so publicly, I do it for the army of amazing humans who’ve had my back through all of it.

Ok 6 month recap: I’m alive, NED (no evidence of disease) as of this writing, but also miserable…Picture a dumpster fire, but like, a happy one…?

The first exciting thing was a new lesion showed up in my liver according to MRI/CT scans in April. Cancer was back. So, my liver surgeon cut it out and guess what? It wasn’t cancer. Setting aside the mental death spiral this “recurrence” sent me down then the whiplash of it not being cancer, now we have the fun unknown of lesions appearing in my liver that look EXACTLY like cancer but maybe aren’t.  And the least fun part is we can’t really assume that any new lesions aren’t cancer.  But hey, liver is just over here doing random shit for the plot, I guess.

The biggest issue for me has been the ostomy reversal. For those unfamiliar, ostomies are basically a way of diverting waste from your body different than the “normal way”. People can have them for varying reasons (another thing that needs normalizing) but for me, I had a temporary ileostomy while my intestines healed from the excision done in November.  February, the ostomy was reversed and my intestines were reconnected. While most folks bounce back after a few invariably shitty months, of course my intestines are like NOPE.  I’m 7 months out and very much on the struggle bus. 

BUT on paper, things are still heading in the right direction. I do still have a really high risk of recurrence being stage 4 so still getting CT/MRI/blood tests every three months for at least another year and if those stay clean then they get bumped out to every 6 months for another 3 years after that. If at any point I get a recurrence, that clock resets…they say you need to be 5 years without a recurrence to be considered kinda in the clear. This is why you’ll often hear folks with cancer say they’re NED rather than “cancer free”. It’s an important distinction that can sometimes be misunderstood so it’s worth mentioning.  That’s also why I haven’t shared a ton of updates.  I kinda got it in my head that if I shared any good news about clean scans, I would somehow jinx it and the next ones would come back bad (*******just wait until you read the little PS at the end.  I can't breathe for laughing) . So I’ve just been keeping my head down, crossing all the fingers and toes, and hoping the winds of fate keep blowing my way.

So, while cancer tried it’s damnedest to yeet me off the proverbial bridge of life, I’m still here.  I did get this REALLY cool finishers medal…it’s called dark humor. 10 out of 10, would recommend.

(On a serious note: thank you all for caring. I don’t take it lightly that you all take time out of your day to send good vibes or message me to say you’re thinking about me. You’re the best. If I don’t always reply in a timely manner, know that I still appreciate you, but sometimes I don’t have the energy to respond.  For everyone who has messaged me sharing their stories of cancer or other equally terrible medical crap, I see you. I’m proud of you. And no matter how messily you’re doing the thing, you’re doing it. And that’s courageous.)

PS*****Literally, and I mean LITERALLY, less than 4 hours after I typed this up and before I could even publish it, I found out I have another cancer (totally unrelated and very early stage).  But yep.  It's official. I believe in jinxes. SMH

Ok, byeeeee!

-Ali